Again.....its been a while

I seem to go through my phases with blogging.  I have tried other blogging websites.  I have tried to download apps to my droid so that I can blog "on the go".  It never works.

Well we'll see how it works.

My friend and I want to start a blog for work, the basic idea is works sucks!  We'll put stories about our experiences at work and we'll have people post comments about their experiences and tell their stories.

We'll see how long that will last!

daddy...........you suck

i often get the feeling that my 3 year old is subliminally telling me that i suck.  i work all the time and see him and his little brother for a couple hours a day.  it sucks!  last night he fell asleep at 6pm (due to a lack of a nap) and slept through until 4:30am.  once he woke up bright eyed and ready for the day i spent the next 2 1/2 hours telling him to stop jumping on the bed and to be quiet or hed wake his brother.  i know these are typical parenting things but i feel horrible.  my son wants to spend time with me and i cant even make time for my family.

that being said, i want to go back to school.  i have it set in my mind that i want to go back for my masters in education and become a teacher!  i could participate in an internship program which would pay for my masters program.  there are a few snags though.  1.  i have to take a year off from work to do the internship and go to classes.  2.  i might be able to get financial aide to pay for my bills for the next year, but its no guarantee.  3.  it would take up ALOT of my time in the next year.

there are benefits to this decision though.  1. summers/weekends/holidays/nights off from work  2.  pretty good pay  3.  pretty good benefits  4.  more time to spend with my family  5.  be able to watch my sons grow up  6.  help mold and shape the future adults of this country  7.  possibly teach in nyc (a dream ive had for a while)  8.  no more retail business, i cant stand it! 9.  planned vacations with the family, now i dont have ANY guarantee of when my vacation time will be....its seems like the list can go on and on.

i guess the benefits outweigh the snags....it may be one year of tough work and little time with my family but it will benefit my family in the long run.  all i can do is try, apply, and hope to get financial aide.  no financial aide=no money for bills=no school for me!

the possibilities of life

what ever happened to you can do anything your heart desires?  it seems as though we grow up, graduate college, get married, and have kids and all of the sudden we become afraid.  i have never been a paranoid man but as of late i have been paranoid of losing my job.  i know i need money to live in my house and have food and get things for my kids and i work a job that i do not like just because i feel comfortable with it because ive done it for so long.

 i want to go back to school and become a teacher but that requires me to take a year off from work and intern in a school.  the internship will pay for my masters program and certification but i will have no income besides my wifes, and honestly we cant survive just on that.  i can get $20000 in loans to pay my bills, if they accept me, but i dont even know if that is enough.  im not guaranteed a job after the program either!  the internship is a year long interview but what if they dont offer me a job?  then what?  i thought i was lost when i dropped out of the education program for my undergrad but this takes the cake.  this is a MUCH more difficult decision.  then my decision effected me and my possible future.  this decision effects, me, my wife, my two sons, and our possible futures.  i shouldve just finished it before!

ASS HOLE!

the samurai tongue

what to do on a Saturday night?

my sons are asleep, my wife is asleep, i am awake.  the internet has become so boring for me.  i come online to talk to no one.  i can open all the social networking sights and instant messengers in the world and STILL not talk to anyone.

I seem to be the anti-social networking person.  People friend me and secretly read my tweets and blogs to stay in touch with me because talking to me is too painful.  I think my level of sarcasm is supreme to everyone else.  I have reached a Buddha state of sarcasm.  I open my mouth and people can't even respond, they just kindly walk away.

The masochist conversationalists always comes back for more.  Some people are brutal with their words and conversations.  I like to call those people the a-bomb conversationalist.  They open their mouths and its mass chaos and total destruction.  People despise them.  People want to punch them in the face.  People hope some kind of pain on them.

I like to think of myself as a ninja of conversations.  I calmly and quietly slice conversations so the person doesn't know what happened, but they do know that they don't want to talk to me anymore.  They don't want to hurt me or inflict pain on me and they leave me alone.  Success!

feeling lost in the US

we live in the most popular and yet most hated country in the world.  the land of opportunity, or so they say.  i have a friend who has been looking for a job since last January.  i have another friend who is graduating with his doctorate in mathematics and could only find two jobs as a professor in a university.  my future brother in law wants to go to law school and only got into one school.  if there was an "opportunity" they would have taken advantage of it.

i had to interview people for a job fair with my company because were opening a new store and we had about 1300 people show up.  thats 1300 people who don't have a job, have never worked because they cant find a job, and had to cut their education short because they couldn't afford it anymore.

great opportunities!

i make decent money as a manager in a grocery store.  is it what i want to do for the rest of my life?  i'm not sure.  its a good business but i think i want to go back to school for psychology.  my fear is that i go back to school for psychology and DON'T find a job in the field after i graduate and end up where i am now paying an extra $100,000 in student loans.

i think the United States motto shouldn't be the land of opportunity but "the former land of opportunity, the current land of disappointment"

social networking

i used to have my twitter post on my facebook...my blogger post to my facebook...then i realized that if i do that people will never follow me on twitter or blogger so i stopped them from posting on my fb.

i was WRONG!

no one cares what i have to say on any of these social networking websites.  i could say "sitting with a monkey eating breakfast" and people wouldnt comment.  i know i wouldnt!  i dont read peoples status updates but i expect them to read mine.  social networking is only good for those who are sociable (and those who stalk people on fb).

i am not very sociable nor do i provide words of wisdom to the world.  i barely talk to the people in my life as it is.  not because i dont want to talk to them but because i have nothing to talk about.  i either talk about my kids or work.  it gets kind of tiresome to listen to i guess.

i watch the recorded shows that my wife and i watch every night.  and when i am home with my boys the usual television viewing is Disney or nickelodeon. i barely watch the news or sports!  i cant talk to "friends" about the backyardigans or mickey mouse, its just not a good discussion topic.

No wonder I have no followers!

I haven't been on here in a while.

I decided to log on and see if I can get this blog going again and when I signed on I began to read the previous posts that I had written.  OMFG!  They're horrible!  I wrote about social networking websites and how it would be cool if a monkey had a facebook and twitter so they can tell us how it is to be a monkey!  Am I for real?

I don't remember EVER having that thought in my head nevermind writing it in a blog.  To those of you who read my blog, it sucks, move on!

Or don't and see what other stupid useless things I say! ; )